Life’s Influencers
“Back in the day”, as I was growing up early on, my life’s influencers were the cement which kept those initial building blocks intact and solidly bound together. As a teenager, additional influencers were added to strengthen the existing foundation, and finally as a young adult and onward, more influencers came to the forefront to reinforce what was already in place.
Unfortunately, today, the influencers which guided me are virtually non-existent as the “basics” have all but disappeared having been replaced by inanimate objects fueled by technology through the information available on the internet. No wonder our society is in such a mess as a vast majority of our youth are left to fend for themselves.
Two of my key initial influencers were the institution of family and receiving an excellent education which went hand in hand in me becoming who I am–which truly no longer exist. For the most part, I believe we can agree the institution of family has “gone to pot” in our society and education in America has gone to “hell in a handbasket”.
My so-called proper upbringing was my parent’s primary priority as I was the focus of their lives, not merely a “sideline” which so often occurs today. They created a family structure where there were expectations and accountability. I was supplied with the tools and resources to make good decisions and with every decision they taught me there were consequences. Within the structure was a daily routine which was the framework for me to be successful as long as I conformed and followed the model.
My early elementary education was also extremely structured which went “hand in hand” intertwining nicely with what my parents were providing me as one supported the other. Certainly, we were expected to excel in school, there was a dress code, a code of conduct, we began each day reciting both the Lord’s Prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance, and you behaved, because if you didn’t, there were both consequences and accountability. You learned how to become self-disciplined which led to you being disciplined.
This doesn’t describe the way our society is today as these first and foremost influencers are completely non-existent. Hey, let’s face it, parenting is not only demanding, but also a lifetime commitment and if you’re not committed to the task like most parents were “back in the day”, you’re doomed to failure. Today, parents are too concerned about themselves and with the divorce rate of 50% and first marriages only lasting just over 8 years, it’s easy to see the devastating effects this has on the family dynamics. Classroom education is so strictly structured today as to what is taught and how its taught vs teaching what needs to be taught without fear of offending someone. Today, as well, there’s no accountability or discipline and it’s the students who are in control as parents and teachers no longer work “hand in hand”.
When I became an adolescent, my life’s influencers grew to include my peers and those who, other than my parents, guided me until I became an adult–which would have been those I came into contact with through my participation in school sports and those teachers and coaches who became my first “mentors”. My peers “back in the day” merely supported and reinforced where I was and the progress I was making. As I was approaching adulthood, my influencers were very consistent and in rhythm with one another and that felt very “normal”. Unfortunately, today we must be weary of one’s peers as everyone seems to always be “finding” themselves with little consistency as there is no longer any clear structure or direction. It appears our society is challenged and having extreme difficulties in defining what is “normal” today as our social landscape is continually so everchanging. Because of this challenge we now use the term “new normal” which is absolutely absurd and what I consider to be totally “abnormal”. It’s just society’s means to an end in a futile attempt of justification.
Athletics gave me the strength to withstand challenge, learn to compete, understand the importance of team and my role in being a part of the team and becoming a leader, as well as, understanding the importance of discipline by becoming extremely self-disciplined which means to practice what you’re supposed to, when you’re supposed to, consistently each and every time, even when you don’t want to do it.
As an adult, my life’s influencers included another layer of those considered to be “mentors”. These were people of wisdom and experience who had earned my respect and tutored me throughout my career. “Back in the day” loyalty was the norm as most folks stayed with their companies for their entire careers. Why wouldn’t you, as companies invested in their employees, strove to retain them, gave them the training, development, and resources to be successful, and provided them with a clear career path. Again, none of that exists today as everyone has their own agenda and have become extremely selfish and greedy–integrity has all but disappeared!
Of course, my life’s most influential influencer has been my partner for all the obvious reasons. Better known as, my wife who is my life and they broke the mold with her, La Bear. Through thick and thin, good times and bad, raising children, as best buddies, with unconditional love, always honest, objective, and truthful wisely leading me in the right direction no matter what!!
